Steps of the Called

The last couple weeks have been hard for me. I’m not usually prone to homesickness, but I’ve been feeling it lately. Maybe it was all the work we put into VBS or the huge needs of the people here that we can only barely start to meet. Maybe it was the constant learning curve that comes along with attempting to learn and speak a new language. Maybe it was the rain that doesn’t ever seem to stop or the fact that spring has decided to hold off for a while longer. Maybe it was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I am now officially in my late-twenties. More than likely it was combination of all these things and more, but over these last couple weeks I’ve felt both physically and emotionally exhausted.  Add to that the fact that my ability to Skype with friends and family has been limited at best, and you end up with a pretty fantastic pity-party. I found myself missing everything from Mexican food to Braves baseball to re-tying shoelaces at After the Bell. I was wallowing in all the things I won’t be doing this spring, good things like watching my brother coach baseball, throwing a baby shower for my best friend, and holding that sweet baby while she’s still tiny and wrapped in hospital blankets.

These are good things, wonderful things, things that I will definitely miss, but they’re not the best for me right now. It’s a hard pill to swallow at times, but sometimes we have to miss out on good things to get to God’s best for us. As I wallowed, cried, and basically swam around in self-pity for a few days, the Lord was faithful to remind me that His mercies are new every morning; that He called me here; that He will remain faithful to complete the work, and that His strength shows most perfectly in my own weakness.

A few years ago a friend of mine preached a sermon on Lamentations 3, focusing in on the fact that even when we are in our loneliest moments, God is with us and He loves us. No matter what our circumstances or how down we are feeling, we can put our Hope in God because He is the one who supplies our needs and satisfies our souls. I have a feeling that my friend had probably been going through something similar to what I’m going through now when the Lord laid the message on his heart. At the time, I didn’t really understand or identify with this stark feeling of loneliness and the Lord being my hope and portion, but for some reason that sermon stuck with me, even now over five years later. I’m glad it did because I definitely get it now, and I’m thankful for the promises of these words:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’” Lamentations 3:22-24